Bizzaro Lunch

Due to gloom regarding my pending unemployment, I may have gotten a little martyr-y when making last week's grocery list. I might have said (to myself) "Fine. Whatever. I'll just have PB&J. And chips." It's possible I let my need for comfort food affect my menu planning in a negative way.

OK. I did, I did, and it is. Sue me, I'm unemployed and a return to childhood makes me feel better. However. This is how I've gained 8 1/2 pounds in the last month and while I'm not feeling FAT per se, it would be a shame to throw away all the hard work I put in for the last year and a half leading up to the wedding. So when it came time to make lunch today, I wanted something with a few more food groups and a few less preservatives than a PB&J and chips could offer. But alas, I didn't buy anything else. So I turned to one of my favorite food divas for an answer: Hungry Girl.

OK listen. Hungry Girl is not lighting the culinary world on fire. That's not what she's trying to do. What she's trying to do is provide healthy recipes to regular people. It's not fine food, it's helping to satisfy the cravings that derail dieters. And it gives great ideas of how to combine foods in ways you wouldn't necessarily think of. Which is how I end up eating the bizarro lunch pictured above.

Like I say. I didn't have a whole lot of ingredients to work with. But I did have a tortilla, a 97% fat free hot dog, and some cheddar cheese, which is how I ended up eating a Cheesy Dog Tortilla Rollup. Not insanely groundbreaking, but not something I would have thought of and a good way to combine some healthy ingredients I already had in a tasty and satisfying way. Serve alongside some grapes from the bottom of the fruit drawer that miraculously hadn't turned and a little greek yogurt with sugarfree pancake syrup (an HG serving suggestion) and you have the delightfully bizarre and cost-effective meal I had that is keeping me a lot more full than yesterday's PB&J and chips lunch.

Now, the Hungry Girl philosophy works a lot better when you keep a lot of her recommended ingredients on hand, but even without them, I managed to find something to throw together in my kitchen. I expect with a little more careful planning and smart shopping, I'll be having a lot more healthy, fun lunches in the future, so stay tuned.

Sunday, SUNDAY, Sunday!

This year's Superbowl was a LOT calmer at our house than last year's. You see, we're Steeler fans, born and bred. So this time last year, I know I cooked. I believe there were pierogies and kielbasa involved, and I couldn't really say what else. I was drunk on Yuengling and polka and victory. This year, much as I'd love to see my team in the big game every year, I was fine with focusing on the food.

I offered to cook if my mom would host as she has the bigger house and the nicer tv. My sis supplied the beer and a few naughty hot appetizers. Mozzarella sticks aside, with both daughters getting married this year, pretty much the whole family is watching their weight, guys and ladies, so I knew I had to be smart about this traditional day of grazing and gorging oneself.

All week I was thinking I would make regional food for both teams. While it wasn't hard to come up with dishes for New Orleans, creole food is not exactly the healthiest. And as much as I tried, the best I could come up with for Indianapolis local cuisine was breaded pork tenderloin, which didn't seem to rise to the occasion of the greatest football game of the year. So, since our football loyalties lay with seeing a good game, rather than with either team, I thought, why should the food be any different?

Chips and dips are great for the early part of the game. You don't wanna pile on too much food

too fast, but you wanna lay something down to soak up the beer so you're not blitzed by half-time. Hungry Girl has much to say on the subject so I started with her Holy Moly Guacamole and Hungry Hungry Artichoke Hummus (no recipe, just nutrional info there). The guac replaces some of the deliciously creamy-but-caloric avocado with pureed early peas. I know what you're thinking. I find the trick with a lot of these HG recipes (which I am blatantly screwing up here) is to not tell people what's in them until AFTER they try it. Because it was DAMN good and everyone, including my anti-vegetable future-brother-in-law, loved it. The hummus was also a hit, especially with my fiance, The Captain, who is new to all things chickpea. Aside from being confused by its cold temperature (his first hummus experience was with a baked recipe), he dug it and didn't even remark on the artichokes, which I don't think he's ever voluntarily had. As with most courses, I like to mix it up, so I also threw in some sliced Fuji apples with HG's Fluffy Cinnamon Cream Cheese Dip. This was a great alternative to my traditional go-to sweet dip, Pumpkin Pie Dip, which is un-put-down-able, but has a ton of fat and sugar. The Cinnamon Dip was what I kept going back for and it's so easy to make and low-cal, I expect I'll keep some on hand on a regular basis for snacking. Perhaps even bring it to work to kill midday cravings.

While The Who rocked (or doddered about, I wasn't really paying attention), I cooked up the main course, which was a taste of summer barbeques in the dead of winter. Turkey sliders with baked beans and two more Hungry Girl dishes, I Can't Believe It's Not Potato Salad, and I Heart Apple Slaw. The slaw was easy and tasty, something I'd definitely make in the summer to take to party that wouldn't automatically get me slapped with the Party-Pooper-With-The-Healthy-Dish label. The "potato" salad was ill-named, as I very easily could believe it wasn't. After all, I made it, I saw how much cauliflower went into it and how there weren't any potatoes in it. The dressing tasted potato-salad-y enough, but the crunch of the cauliflower gave it away. I suppose it's partly that my microwave sucks and didn't steam it as much as it could have been, but I think potato salad is just one of those dishes not to be messed with. There's no real way to make a healthy substitute that tastes as good as the real thing. The sliders were pretty outstanding. When it comes to burgers, I have never done more than separate ground meat into lumps which get formed into patties, but I know greatness can be achieved by adding ingredients so I gave it a shot. A couple of eggs, handfuls of breadcrumbs, a chopped onion and a mess of chopped parsley later, to quote Samuel L Jackson, "That IS a tasty burger!" The dinner rolls I bought were a little too small and they burgers took a little work to cook evenly and thoroughly, without burning or drying out, but overall, it was a win.

Part way through the 4th quarter, my family looked at me with murder in their eyes as I opened one last tupperware container and plopped it on the coffee table. Hungry Girl strikes again, with Swirls Gone Wild Cheesecake Brownies.

How To: Chocolate Chip Cookies

While I recognize that while some of my readers are more accomplished cooks than I, I also know that some are not. So I'll endeavor to pass on a few tips for the things I already knew how to make before I started teaching myself how to cook. And so, How To: Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Step 1: Buy a package of Nestle Toll House semi-sweet morsels

Step 2: Follow the recipe on the back of the package to the letter.

Lesson: Don't mess with perfection, folks. Some things are as easy as following simple directions. Every time I make these this way, people tell me they taste like their grandmother's cookies. And that's how I know that their grandmother used the recipe from Nestle too.

Now You're Cooking with Crazy

You know how people say "Now you're cooking with gas!"? OK, people don't really say that, but they used to. And it meant that you were onto something, on a roll. That's where I am. I'm on a roll with cooking. The more I do it, the more I love it. It calms me down and chills me out. When I'm stressed or bored or sad, nothing helps more than to strap on an apron, mix things together, and turn it into food. It's like it takes away the crazy. Takes it away and, I suspect, puts it into the food.

I'm one of those people. The ones who shows up at a party with homemade food. Who brings baked goods into the office for no reason whatsoever. Who turns any opportunity where more than two people are gathered into a chance to serve those people something tasty. Why? Because I can't not. I don't mean to brag by saying this. I'm not some stuck up bitch who's trying to make everyone who bought a bag chips look bad. Look at you! You brought chips! You know what that makes you? A good guest! I just can't bring myself to bring something I bought, when I know I can make something instead. I'll enjoy making it and you'll enjoy eating it. If I show up at your house with a store-bought dish? I've probably had a really bad week. You know what that makes me? Crazy.

So what? We're all a little crazy, I've decided to embrace mine. So, I'm starting this blog to keep a record of my food. A great dish can live in a memory for years, but I want to remember all the dishes, good and bad. If you love food like I do, I hope you'll come back for seconds.

Oh and, I'll try not to have such bad puns in future posts. No promises though.